Merhaba!

I took great delight in attending my first Turkish wedding, now a few months ago.

My husband shared with me an invite from his Turkish colleague and friend from work, someone I hadn’t met before, but heard about. I was mostly just intrigued in experiencing  a wedding from a different culture so it was a quick decision to agree to attend. (I  did however later realise that I needed to correct my intention of attending -as an act of accepting an invite from a Muslim brother!)

The journey to Uskudar, on the Asian side, the location for the wedding at a restaurant near the waters edge,was shaping up to becoming an adventure in and of itself too, when we were planning to hop on a ferry across the Bospherous to enjoy some fresh air and views. But the heat that day defied us that option, as it also meant a 20 minute bus ride in wedding attire, carrying a sleeping baby, stroller and bags. We took a peaceful 30 min air-con car ride with our friends instead!

Not sure what I expected when we arrived at the venue, but I was (pleasantly) surprised to see that the men and women were seated seperately; men outside under umbrellas and the ladies in the hall ( later we learnt we may have had the better deal as we had airconditioners on keeping us cool and relaxed!). Another of my husband’s workmate who was in charge of seating everyone, was considerate in placing us with a female co-worker from the company too who spoke both Turkish and English. I didn’t realise the importance of this actually, as though I had company of my friends, it would have been rather isolating and a loss really, if we just sat with familiar faces only. Instead, in the sea of Turkish-speaking people where we knew no one- and where all the chatter around us was of course foreign and unfathomable, we had an oasis of company with the bilingual co-worker we just met and befriended (literally and later Facebook wise too!)

Similarities
We got to chat about Turkish wedding traditions and that’s where I learnt about what was alike in our cultures – such as ladies only henna nights, wearing the colour red for certain functions, exchanging gifts at engagement, celebrating with family.

Smiles
I greeted the grooms mother with salaam, some very broken Turkish and big smiles and handshakes – it was enough for us to communicate and feel welcome – smiles here go a long way when you don’t have a common language and that’s all you can offer!

Simplicity
I found the simplicity of the wedding remarkable. No centre pieces or fancy decor, yet everything still looked elegant. We were given little cups of water and there were juices on the table. We were given each a little bowl of fresh salad, and at lunch time served an individual plated meal of chicken with rice. To finish, we had a piece of chocolate cake with nuts and cream. I do like fancy food so I would have enjoyed maybe a few more sides- yet with this I felt satiated, and not stuffed. It was just enough, and I was wondering how at weddings back home we over indulge with several courses and heaped plates of dessert – yet somehow still manage to complain about the taste of the food or menu choice- just never satisfied!

Plated chicken and rice with bowls of fresh salad

Chatting with my friends, we marvelled at how the whole affair though steeped in tradition, was still relaxed and easy going . We found that back home in South Africa we tend to make things too formal – which can sometimes risk being stuffy and pressurising.

A few interesting Turkish traditions at the wedding was first how the bride went around to greet each table, so it was lovely to meet her and see her beautiful white dress up close. She wore a beaded off white dress with a thin coat over. Her head was covered in hijab and a gorgeous veil-scarf draped over giving an elegant look. She wore very little make up but Masha Allah didn’t need it nor did we miss it as her natural beauty sufficed.

Beautiful Turkish wedding setting

Before the wedding I quickly checked in with a Turkish friend what the dressing code was for day time weddings so I could sense check my outfit – and she was right. Most women were dressed in smart outfits, like semi formal dresses or light jacket and trouser style. Only the immediate family were wearing more posh dresses with beadwork and you could see easily spot them from the crowd.

After lunch, the bride wore a red sash and everyone comes up to present gifts- cash or gold only, which they pinned onto the sash. This guarantees no unwanted house gifts like three kettles or photo frames- lucky them!

Outside by the men, there was qiraat being read, and later some traditional Turkish music for entertainment. There were beautiful views of the bospherous and European shoreline which made for a stunning backdrop for photos, of which there were plenty. An official photographer is on stand by taking pictures and you are welcome to pay for your own copy right there and then which is rather handy.

I am advised that whilst there are common traditions across the board, individual Turkish weddings do differ, so I would love to attend another wedding or celebration again!

Experiencing Turkey, one special occasion at a time,
MbyD